Thursday, 2 February 2017

Not so manic now

My writing project today. Been busy, missed a few. This is basically a reaction to something I read.

What I read.

It's mental health day or something. Read this and fucking weep, then do something.

I read something earlier by Fisher where he pointed out that what Marx called 'alienation' we call depression.

I've only just discovered this man's writing. It's beautiful, brilliant stuff.

I think his essential point that depression is not an individual's struggle, but requires collective action is powerful. I think that whilst it's dumb to simplify mental health as a societal problem (end), he's absolutely on the money in terms of the folly of telling the depressed person that their mental health is solely their responsibility.

If it were a physical illness, to deny societal causes would be folly. If mental health means anything to you, think about the world you want to live in and find other people who want to live in a similar world, take small steps together towards that world. Win little battles. Inch, by, inch. Real things. We need some victories. We need a fucking parade of celebration, not another march against the relentless humming of ill thought out self defeating efficiency.

You are not alone and it's not your fault. Sleep well, eat well, find space and time. Hold on to the walls because it will get better. Stare into the void. I cannot molify existential dread but I do believe that your lack of self worth is not your fault. Believe you are good enough. I will believe I am good enough.

This world is like being told you have to sprint to the finish then discovering the track is designed *deliberately* to be made of quicksand. As you stand, petrified at the start line, you plug in your branded lifestyle content provider for guidance and your recommended anxiety medication app tells you "feel the ground beneath your feet and breath" and you want to scream "IT'S FUCKING QUICKSAND AND I DIDNT PUT IT THERE AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO FUCKING BREATH IF MY LUNGS ARE CLOGGED WITH SAND"

Maybe just fuck the race off? Perhaps others might catch on. Maybe we'd all be a bit happier without watching people try so fucking hard to get to the end floundering, gasping, choking, clawing for air, sucked under, looking anguished or tottering, petrified of one wrong move.

Maybe you enjoy this sort of thing. Maybe you'd push people in the sand, walk on their bodies, leap accross their corpses, slipping, pulling people down to lever yourself up, floundering but taking a grip on cold straggling clumped strands of hair of those who didn't make it, tackling, ripping, gouging and finally, breathlessly getting to the end and *winning*

That's what it's all about isn't it.

Maybe people should just cheer the fuck up. Or maybe your a cunt.



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