By the bed

A pile of books looming.
A series of flirtatious moments
Some went further, several dates.
But they weren't the one

More like, it wasn't them, it was you.
You're just not in the right space right now
Forever distracted
Always fearful of silence

Looking to drown your thoughts
Not able to listen.
The book pile grows.

The more new starts you have
The more depressing it is to be back in the same place
Just in the shade of a longer shadow.